Corie's Blog

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Funk-da-fied

Lately I have been in a "funk". I can't seem to get myself out of it. I don't know exactly what is wrong or even if there is anything wrong. I am just kinda "blah". Who knows, maybe it is SAD (seasonal affect disorder).
What I do know is that I am ready for it to end.

I don't even know if I can explain it. I am very blah about my job right now. I feel pressure (from no one but myself) to make a decision about whether or not to go back to school. The teacher idea is very appealing to me. But, honestly, I can't imagine going back to school. Of course, how else would I become a teacher? School would be a must-do. And, I think the longer I wait, the less likely I will be to go. So, the job thing may be a bit responsible for my funk.

Everything else in my life is going really well. I really don't have anything to complain about but this "funk". Does anyone else relate to this? I don't think Keith does. He is the most easygoing, laid back person I have ever met. He just doesn't let himself stay in a bad or "funky" mood. I, on the other hand, have a very hard time "talking" myself out of my "funks".

I really think it might be the winter (if you can call this winter) weather. Let's blame it on the weather. I am going to have to look up symptoms for SAD. And, after I google SAD, I should look into Master's programs for next semester......

Ah, let's end this post with a well needed quote....
"Dreams are necessary to life" ~Anais Nin
(why does it seem like I am scared to make my dreams become reality?.... never mind, I know why- it is that stinkin' fear)

Monday, January 8, 2007

If you really knew me.....

I have had a pretty easy couple of "work weeks" since the holidays. I haven't had a five day week in.... well, I can't remember how long. Plus, I have been getting off work early on the days I do work. Seriously, I cannot complain that I am overworked.

Anyway, to my point.... I have been able to catch a couple of episodes of Oprah lately. One episode focused on "Challenge Day" at a high school. They gathered about 60 students and tried to break down barriers between the kids. One of the exercises was "If you really knew me, you would know...." and then fill in the blank. It went to show that appearances are not always what they seem.

I thought I would post my own "if you really knew me...."

If you really knew me, you would know that I truly believe I am married to the greatest man on earth. Keith is completely amazing. He always builds me up, never puts me down. He takes interest in everything I think is important. He lets me control the remote. He tells me that he loves me, that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and how much he appreciates me every single day. I thank God for him!
If you really knew me, you would know that I am a perfectionist. This makes life very difficult sometimes. I put super-high expectations on myself and get mad if certain things I do are only mediocre.
If you really knew me, you would know that I still miss my Grandpa every day. He passed away 5 months ago today. I keep waiting for time to heal the wounds, but I guess there hasn't been enough time yet.
If you really knew me, you would know that I want my pajamas to match. Down to the socks.
If you really knew me, you would know that I sometimes want a dog. I would like to have a Boston Terrier (like the dog I had growing up) that I could take for walks in the park. But, then again, I do not want dog hair and "accidents" in our apartment.
If you really knew me, you would know that I am growing to be more and more like my mom every day. This, in my mind, is not a bad thing. I have a fantastic mom! Every time we go to my mom's Keith notices something else that the two of us have in common.
If you really knew me, you would know that I am self-conscious. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. This is a hard one to admit..... I have always felt like the "average" one in my group of friends. I have extraordinary friends- beautiful, intelligent, funny, adventurous..... Each of them stand out in their own unique way. But, I just felt/feel like I was just "there". I don't know if that makes sense or not. (I am not posting this to make anyone feel sorry for me, so DON"T!)
If you really knew me, you would know that more than once I have laughed so hard that I've peed my pants. Not full fledge peeing my pants, but enough.....
If you really knew me, you would know that I wonder if we should have moved to a different part of the country. I question this all the time. I had always pictured myself leaving the midwest. No place in particular, but probably west rather than east. I still wonder if we should give it a whirl.
If you really knew me, you would know that one of the reasons I haven't moved is fear. I am so scared of decisions, especially the big ones. Fear is a big thing for me. Not just the fear of moving, but the fear of deciding on a career, fear of deciding on when/if to start a family, fear of failure of any kind.... I hate fear.
If you really knew me, you would know that I snore sometimes.
If you really knew me, you would know that fall is my favorite time of year. I love the colors and the weather and everything about it. I can sit in my living room, with the blinds open and the windows cracked and just thank God for fall!
If you really knew me, you would know that I wish I had a closer relationship with my Dad, but I don't try to change it. Why don't I try?
If you really knew me, you would know that I am SO SO SO thankful that my sister and I actually talk now! We are developing the close "sisterly" relationship I had always hoped we would have. I adore her and am so thankful for her!!!!
If you really knew me, you would know that I wish I had lived when my grandparents or parents grew up. Times seemed so much simpler then. I feel like people valued family, manners, hard work and less material things back then. I wish I could have experienced the times I hear them talk about. Even if it meant living without all of the "luxuries" we have today.
If you really knew me, you would know that the best friends I have are from my childhood. I had this preconceived notion that I would make my best friends in college, but turns out I made them years before that. I love that we are able to share just about every milestone we have ever had.
If you really knew me, you would know that I have so many places I would like to visit- Oregon, Northern California, Boston, London, Paris, Italy, Greece, Spain..... I'm gonna need to accumulate ALOT of vacation time!

So, these are just a few...well, quite a few of my "if you really knew me's". You should try it. It does make you realize some things about yourself that you probably hide from most people. I am hoping that because I have put them down in writing that I am able to change some of the things about myself.

Oh yeah, one more thing... If you really knew me, you would know that I love a good quote.

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint', then by all means, paint and that voice will be silenced". ~Vincent Van Gogh

Tuesday, January 2, 2007

They say it's your Birthday......

My wonderful, thoughtful, hilarious, amazing friend Tracy had a *surprise* 30th birthday party this past Saturday at Carlos O'Kelly's. A few pictures of the festivities are posted. Her actual birthday is today, so this post is for you Trace! I can't wait to see you on Thursday for days of girly time!!!! XOXOX

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY TRACE!

Emma had to help her Momma blow out the candles...

Emma, aka "Icing Smuggler"

Emma, enjoying her stolen goods

We love you Birthday Girl!

I resolve to.....

Over the last few years I have not made any New Year Resolutions for myself. When I was younger I always made a couple of resolutions. I never ended up keeping them and they were boring. The typical "gonna exercise more", "eat healthier" resolutions.... I am sure most of you can relate.

Well, this year I have decided to make a few resolutions for myself. Maybe if I share them I will be more apt in keeping them. So, I am giving permission for you to ask me how my resolutions are going throughout the year (please!).....

For the year 2007 I plan to: (in no particular order of importance).......

Take a "creative" class at our local community college. I received a course catalog in the mail the other day. There are SO many classes I would like to take. Why have I not been doing this all along? At this point I think the difficult choice will be which class to take. I could take a photography class, a pottery class, a knitting class, a calligraphy class, a cooking class, a spanish class....there are so many possibilities. Registration begins today, so I need to make a decision.
No new shows in 2007. By this I mean, I will only watch the TV shows that I have been watching in the past. I will not start to watch any new shows this year. I quit watching Survivor and Amazing Race this season, so I will not pick those back up. That leaves me with "How I Met Your Mother", "What About Brian", "Lost", "Grey's Anatomy", "Desperate Housewives", "What Not to Wear".... am I forgetting any? Oh, and I will still allow myself reruns before bed. If I can hold myself to this, that means approximately 9 hours of tv a week. Not bad..... My extra time should be spent in my creative class and reading.
Striving to be the best wife I can be. I truly want to be the best wife for Keith. He is the most amazing man and deserves the absolute best. Sometimes I think I am too "naggy" and hard on him. I put the expectations I have for myself onto him and that is not fair. We are two totally different people. He always puts me first and I want to do that in return. I want to put Keith's needs first. I want to always be supportive. I want to always appreciate him, never take him for granted. Believe it or not, sometimes I am a very hard person to live with. He deserves some kind of an award.
Time with God. When I lived alone, making time for God was never a problem for me. Since we have been married, I don't make as much time for God as I used to. And, I can tell a difference in my life. I need to have that "quiet time" every day. Time to pray, read my Bible and journal. I worry more, have bad moods more, stress more, without my consistent quiet time. I talk to God every day, but it is when I devote that extra time to Him that I notice such a positive difference in my life.

So, those are a few of my resolutions for this year. Does anyone else still make resolutions or are these a thing of the past?

Monday, January 1, 2007

2007 is a very good year.... so far

Hip Hip Hooray!
If you read the two previous posts from today, this one will make sense.

As you can see, the captions are now centered. Just a lil patience and persistance was all it took.
Maybe that should be my theme for the year..."patience and persistance".

Now, we are off to have our first breakfast of the year at Uncle Bill's House of Pancakes (a STL landmark). Best pecan pancakes ever!

I hope this isn't a sign......

Darn it. I just spent about an hour downloading, posting those pictures (previous post), and writing the lil captions. The captions didn't stay centered under the pictures.

This is not pleasing to a self-proclaimed perfectionist.

I can only hope this is not some type of foreshadowing to the New Year....

Tribute to 2006

I thought I would begin 2007 with just a few of my memories from the past year.

The following pictures are just a few shots of family and friends that were taken over the year. We were blessed with many milestones in 2006- babies, anniversaries, lots of time with family and friends, vacations, and other special occasions.

Happy New Year. May 2007 be your best year yet........