Thursday, January 11, 2007

Is it time for kids?

I wanted to share this article Keith emailed me.... if you have been reading my past posts, you will know that I am a planner and that I struggle with making big decisions. Of course, now that we have been married over a year and are getting closer to the big 3-0, the question of "when to start a family?" has been entering our minds. This article was perfect for me to read. I am always overanalyzing whether or not we are ready to have children. "Do we have enough money? Do I have enough time accumulated for maternity leave? Should we wait until we have a house? Do we want to travel more first? Am I ready to give up "us" time?" Well, after reading this article and talking to all of our friends who have kids... the answer seems to be- you will never truly feel like you are 100% prepared for children. So, I suppose we will leave it in God's hands and when it is time, it will happen.
Until then, I hope you enjoy this article as much as I did....

Life & Style > Columnists
Are you ever really ready to have kids?
By Dana Loesch
SPECIAL TO THE POST-DISPATCH
01/08/2007
Dana Loesch
The other day a reader named Rebecca wrote to ask how much children cost. Literally, she wanted figures. She explained that she and her husband are looking into having children and, being the pragmatic and responsible people that they are, they want to get a couple quotes. You get quotes prior to purchasing a house, why not with having kids?Firstly, it’s impossible to give someone such a quote because so many variables are involved – but don’t think that I haven’t kept a running tally that I can flash in the boys’ faces should they ever try to stick me in a home. I’d love to say that Chris’s and my decision to have children was based upon a lengthy examination of our finances and that we were responsible and concluded that we’d have children when the time was right. It wasn’t.
Our decision to have children was decided by our inaction to prevent their conception. In all honesty, it was the best decision I’ve ever made and it didn’t involve any deliberation. Sometimes the best things in life come about that way. I walked down the aisle with a four-month bump veiled under the wedding dress I’d ordered a month before I became pregnant. I still wore white.

So, perhaps I’m not the best person to ask. However, I don’t think the question is really how much children cost but rather how much you are willing to spend. When it comes down to it, the factor that determines a great child isn’t how ready the parents were before he was conceived. It’s not how much the baby’s parents’ are able to sock away in her college savings. Its not determined by how big your house is, where you’re at in your career, whether you’re a lawyer or a street sweeper. What matters is how much time and emotion you are willing to invest in your child. Some of the richest people who seem to have their affairs in an enviable state of order are poor in emotional investments. Some of the poorest people I know have broken off pieces of their own souls to invest in their children. They don’t just take their kids to the park. They kick off their shoes and play in the sand with them. They bend down and talk to them on their level while looking into their eyes. They push hobbies off to the wayside to play with their kids.I have a mother like that. I don’t remember our tiny house in the bad part of town, or how often we did without, but I do remember how much of herself she invested in me.Honestly, I feel that you’re ready for children when you want them and can provide them adequate support. There is no one price umbrella; i.e. some children have health issues which raises their particular cost of care; others have no maladies whatsoever.

I’ve heard the saying oft repeated: “You’re never really ready to have children,” or “You can’t plan enough before having children.” Both are frightfully true. Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans.

Dana Loesch is a mother of two, a professional blogger, and can be reached at mamalogues@yahoo.com. Read more at http://www.mamalogues.com.

**One more note.. how awesome would it be to be a professional blogger?!?! I could be a Public Health Counselor by day, pro blogger by night. Hmmmm........ something to think about.

1 comment:

Val, that's me said...

Loved that. It really is true, corie.