If you really knew me.....

I have had a pretty easy couple of "work weeks" since the holidays. I haven't had a five day week in.... well, I can't remember how long. Plus, I have been getting off work early on the days I do work. Seriously, I cannot complain that I am overworked.

Anyway, to my point.... I have been able to catch a couple of episodes of Oprah lately. One episode focused on "Challenge Day" at a high school. They gathered about 60 students and tried to break down barriers between the kids. One of the exercises was "If you really knew me, you would know...." and then fill in the blank. It went to show that appearances are not always what they seem.

I thought I would post my own "if you really knew me...."

• If you really knew me, you would know that I truly believe I am married to the greatest man on earth. Keith is completely amazing. He always builds me up, never puts me down. He takes interest in everything I think is important. He lets me control the remote. He tells me that he loves me, that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and how much he appreciates me every single day. I thank God for him!
• If you really knew me, you would know that I am a perfectionist. This makes life very difficult sometimes. I put super-high expectations on myself and get mad if certain things I do are only mediocre.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I still miss my Grandpa every day. He passed away 5 months ago today. I keep waiting for time to heal the wounds, but I guess there hasn't been enough time yet.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I want my pajamas to match. Down to the socks.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I sometimes want a dog. I would like to have a Boston Terrier (like the dog I had growing up) that I could take for walks in the park. But, then again, I do not want dog hair and "accidents" in our apartment.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I am growing to be more and more like my mom every day. This, in my mind, is not a bad thing. I have a fantastic mom! Every time we go to my mom's Keith notices something else that the two of us have in common.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I am self-conscious. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. This is a hard one to admit..... I have always felt like the "average" one in my group of friends. I have extraordinary friends- beautiful, intelligent, funny, adventurous..... Each of them stand out in their own unique way. But, I just felt/feel like I was just "there". I don't know if that makes sense or not. (I am not posting this to make anyone feel sorry for me, so DON"T!)
• If you really knew me, you would know that more than once I have laughed so hard that I've peed my pants. Not full fledge peeing my pants, but enough.....
• If you really knew me, you would know that I wonder if we should have moved to a different part of the country. I question this all the time. I had always pictured myself leaving the midwest. No place in particular, but probably west rather than east. I still wonder if we should give it a whirl.
• If you really knew me, you would know that one of the reasons I haven't moved is fear. I am so scared of decisions, especially the big ones. Fear is a big thing for me. Not just the fear of moving, but the fear of deciding on a career, fear of deciding on when/if to start a family, fear of failure of any kind.... I hate fear.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I snore sometimes.
• If you really knew me, you would know that fall is my favorite time of year. I love the colors and the weather and everything about it. I can sit in my living room, with the blinds open and the windows cracked and just thank God for fall!
• If you really knew me, you would know that I wish I had a closer relationship with my Dad, but I don't try to change it. Why don't I try?
• If you really knew me, you would know that I am SO SO SO thankful that my sister and I actually talk now! We are developing the close "sisterly" relationship I had always hoped we would have. I adore her and am so thankful for her!!!!
• If you really knew me, you would know that I wish I had lived when my grandparents or parents grew up. Times seemed so much simpler then. I feel like people valued family, manners, hard work and less material things back then. I wish I could have experienced the times I hear them talk about. Even if it meant living without all of the "luxuries" we have today.
• If you really knew me, you would know that the best friends I have are from my childhood. I had this preconceived notion that I would make my best friends in college, but turns out I made them years before that. I love that we are able to share just about every milestone we have ever had.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I have so many places I would like to visit- Oregon, Northern California, Boston, London, Paris, Italy, Greece, Spain..... I'm gonna need to accumulate ALOT of vacation time!

So, these are just a few...well, quite a few of my "if you really knew me's". You should try it. It does make you realize some things about yourself that you probably hide from most people. I am hoping that because I have put them down in writing that I am able to change some of the things about myself.

Oh yeah, one more thing... If you really knew me, you would know that I love a good quote.

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint', then by all means, paint and that voice will be silenced". ~Vincent Van Gogh