Tuesday, May 22, 2007


I was reading an article the other day, basically asking the question "how do you define cheating in a relationship?".

Hmmmm..... of course, physical contact is one major way I define cheating, but the article prompted me to think deeper. Is it only cheating if you have defined your relationship as exclusive? Is it only cheating after the "I love you's" have been said? In marriages, or any serious relationships, where do you draw the "cheating curve"?

Would it be considered cheating if your spouse took a co-worker of the opposite sex on a lunch date and paid for their meal? Is it considered cheating for a wife to send emails to a man she met online? Do you define cheating as looking at another person and thinking how attractive they are? Is flirting stepping over the lines? Is it cheating if you flirt once or does the flirting have to be consistent and with the same person? Is it wrong for a husband to look at the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue?

My husband and I got into the discussion. Where do we draw the lines of faithfulness vs. cheating? At first it seemed like he was going to say "once you cross the physical line, it is considered cheating", but after further probing he changed his mind. I think men tend to think cheating is physical, but women may look at the physical and mental/emotional aspects. So, if we don't define cheating to our spouse/partner, how can we be absolutely sure that we are remaining faithful to our spouse, according to their definitions? One wife may be fine with her husband having a one on one lunch with a female co-worker, while another wife may define this as cheating.

It's just a thought.. the article was interesting. I'm wondering your thoughts on the subject. Where do you draw the line? Leave me a comment and let me know! :)

PS. This post is in no way, shape or form, a result of anything Keith and I are personally experiencing! (smiles!)


pinks & blues girls said...

I think cheating goes way beyond just physical contact... anything that you feel you must do in secret from your spouse, I feel, is a form of cheating. I like openness. If you make a commitment to someone, you keep it!!

Good post!

Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls

it's me, Val said...

I totally agree with pbg!