Thursday, May 17, 2007

What Love Language Do You Speak?

I just finished a book called "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman. I wish everyone would read this book. I can see it's content being able to help so many couples.

The suggestion of the book is that everyone has a "love language" that they speak. There are 5 main love languages:
1. Words of Affirmation
2. Quality Time
3. Acts of Service
4. Gifts
5. Physical Touch
Every person has a primary love language- this is the way that need love to be expressed to them. If a person is receiving love in their primary love language, their "love tank" will be full. Empty love tanks=problems.

For example, a wife's love language is quality time, but her husband's love language is acts of service. Let's pretend they aren't aware of love languages. In order to feel loved, she will need her husband to spend quality time with her. He will be demonstrating his love by doing dishes, cleaning the car, folding laundry. He will think that he is showing love by doing these acts of service, but that is not what his wife needs in order to feel loved. Does this make sense? If it doesn't, read the book- trust me, it is gooood!

So, of course I am trying to figure out what our love languages are. I am pretty sure my primary love language is Quality Time. Acts of Service must be my second language. Most of all, I want Keith and I to spend Quality Time together, just the two of us, having a long conversation, listening and supporting one another. If we don't have quality time together, I really miss him and my love tank level drops.

I am not sure what Keith's love language is. I am hoping that he will read the book and let me know what he thinks. Sometimes I think his love language might be Words of Affirmation. I say this because Keith is always showering me with affirming comments. I think that people must try to show love in the ways they wish to receive it. He thinks his might be Physical Touch or Quality Time but I still want him to read the book.

I was talking to my friend, Beth, about the book. She had a great idea- applying the love languages to friendships as well. She told me what her love language is Words of Affirmation. So, I know that Beth needs Words of Affirmation in order to keep her "friend love tank" full. What a great idea, to use the languages in friendships, not just with our spouses! They also have a book about Love Languages for children.

On an exciting note, the author of The Five Love Languages, Gary Chapman, is going to be speaking at a one day seminar in St. Louis in July! I want to register us for the day. I am sure that we would walk away with a better understanding of each other and what we can do to make our spouse feel as loved and appreciated as possible. The seminar seems like a great investment.

So, what's your love language?
Take the quiz at this link to find out (or read the book).
I feel loved when...

The Five Love Languages

My Primary Love Language is Quality Time

My Detailed Results:
Quality Time: 10
Acts of Service: 8
Words of Affirmation: 5
Physical Touch: 4
Receiving Gifts: 3

About this quiz

Unhappiness in relationships is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. It can be helpful to know what language you speak and what language those around you speak.

Tag 3 people so they can find out what their love language is.

Take the Quiz!
Check out the Book

Leave me a comment, I'd love to read about it!