Friday, January 9, 2009

My Pity Party, Part Two

Revision.

I am not done nursing Chloe.
My decision, not hers.

It's been a long week. The whole issue has been weighing on me. I felt broken, mind, body and spirit.
I wasn't really at peace with my decision to exclusively pump. It wasn't until a few people mentioned "nursing strike" that I decided to reconsider.

The past few days I've been devouring info on nursing strikes. I have come to the conclusion that is exactly what we were experiencing, especially because I believe she is teething again.

Pumping was wearing me down. Yesterday I was to the point of looking up the cost of formula and calculating how much we would need to budget for it. That's how bad it had gotten. I had an emotional breakdown when Keith got home last night.

And then I watched an episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8.

Yup, you read correctly. A TV show helped me make my decision. (See how beneficial TV can be?)

If you've seen the show, you may have noticed a t-shirt Jon wears, reading Isaiah 40:31. I've often wondered what verse that was, but never remembered to look it up.
Until last night.

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

Duh.
I was doing all of this on my own strength. I wasn't asking God to renew my strength each day.

Last night I was thinking about that verse as it applied to pumping.
Today, I was thinking about that verse as it applied to nursing.

I am just not ready to be done. And, actually, I don't think Chloe is either.
We successfully nursed at 11:00 today! It was so sweet. She even pulled off at one point, looked up at me and smiled.

So, I will hope in the Lord. That His plans are for us to continue.
And, when we are done, I will know that I did all I could.

9 comments:

R.A.M. head on! said...

I am so incrediably impressed with your strenght and wisdom!

bpic said...

Very cool post! Very inspiring to be reminded that scripture helps us with ALL things in life, especially raising our kids.
I just remembered that when Annabel was teething at one point she got an ear infection and it just hurt her too much to lay back or sideways, so I let her nurse standing up on my lap. I am guessing she was 10 months maybe. My mom thought I was crazy, but it worked for her and helped alleviate her pain. Maybe Chloe has multiple things going on? Good for you for being persistent! kathy

bpic said...

sorry, I don't know how to change the picture. Just wanted to clarify that Bob never breastfed- ha! k

Ang said...

Oh I am so happy for you and Chloe!!

Greta said...

Wonderful news :).
(And what a sweet moment it was, I'm sure, when she looked up at you..awww!)

Sarah @ this Beautiful Mess said...

YAY!!!

Alexis Jacobs said...

I am glad that you are able to continue something that you enjoy. When you are ready to give it up, you will know.

Lilypad Mom said...

I am so happy that you have been able to work through it and you are both in the same place again. It is such a wonderful relationship and no matter when it happens, it is a difficult one end.

Tiffany said...

Hi! I've come over for the blog party!

This post was amazing! I'm so glad you decided to continue trying. I know you wrote it a while back - but I just thought I'd send some encouragement your way and pat you on the back and tell you to keep up the good work!