Optimism at it's finest...

I got an email the other day that I just have to share. I hope y'all enjoy it as much as I do!!!

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three strands of hair on her head.
She said, "I think I'll braid my hair today." So, she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror, and saw that she only had two strands of hair on her head.
"Hmmm," she mused, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today."
So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one strand of hair on her head.
"Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun-filled day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed there wasn't a single hair on her head.
"YEA!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything.
Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
Live simply, Love generously, Care deeply, Speak kindly and Leave the rest to God.

the "skinny" on body image......

I will admit it, I am a celebrity gossip junkie. One of my favorite magazines is "Life & Style". I love looking at what the celebs are wearing and reading the lil articles. I know, I know, it is completely shameful and I have about 1,000 other things to do that are incredibly more worthwhile, but I cannot stop the gossip magazine obsession. I bought one today. The headline is "Jen gets more PLASTIC SURGERY". (for those of you who don't have time to keep up on such current events, Jen is referring to Jennifer Aniston)

So, this leads me to think about women, society and body image. I am sure that most women around my age have thought of this on more than one occasion. Why do we (I) continue to base my body image on the standards that society gives me? Celebrities are everywhere now days (and I totally buy into it, I admitted my addiction). They have become our standard for beauty. The 3% of the population who can fit into a size 0 or 2 are setting the bar for the rest of us. When did rib cages and shoulder blades become sexy? And, why do I continue to buy into this?

What happened to healthy? I feel like I am in a constant struggle. On one hand, I want this so called perfect body. On the other hand, I don't even know what that is. Shouldn't my perfect body be one that is healthy and strong? Sometimes I don't think I will ever be happy with the way that I look. I can remember thinking I was "chunky" in high school. How can a size 4 be chunky? I thought I was fat because I didn't have a 6 pack. Boy, was I ever wrong. Well, now I think I am overweight because I am no longer a size 4 and the charts tell me that according to my height, I should lose about 30 lbs. I cannot lose 30 lbs- I would look like a skeleton. Well, actually I would look like the girls who are on the cover of this magazine I love to read. My head tells me that I am striving for this unrealistic goal, but my heart, no lets say my ego, is striving for the impossible.
I want my ego to catch up to what my head already knows..... healthy is more important than this hollywood standard of attractiveness. My husband already thinks I am the most beautiful woman in the world, so why would I want to change how my body looks?

Don't get me wrong.. I am not completely obsessed with this. But, it is something that I think about from time to time. I know that I am probably too hard on myself and my appearance. Honestly, I think most of us women are. Heck, who knows, maybe the men are too, but they just don't voice it as much.

I don't know how to bring this to a close....for some reason I just can't seem to wrap all my thoughts up. I think I will just end it with a quote:

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched. They must be felt with the heart." ~Helen Keller

For all you book lovers.....

Another book recommendation....

My friend Annie gave me the first book in a series- "Redemption" by Karen Kingsbury and Gary Smalley. It is a 5 book series, Christian fiction. I finished this book in about 3 days. I couldn't keep it closed! Annie was going to give me the 2nd book "Remember" next week at my hair appointment. I couldn't wait. I had to go to Borders on Thursday after work to get the next book. They are seriously that good. If you like to read, especially Christian fiction, check out this series!!! I am sure you will be hooked just like I am!

Oh, I bought the second book on Thursday after work and am already more than halfway through it. I have to make myself put it down so I don't finish it all in one sitting.

Trace, I will be sending you the first book.... :)

Ah, City Living....

I don't know why we didn't move to St. Louis sooner! I love, love, love living in the city. We have been here for almost a year now and it truly feels like "home". Sometimes when I drive around, it doesn't even feel like I am in the city. I don't know if that makes sense or not.

There are so many things to do and they are all right at your fingertips. For instance, today Nicole and I are going to Soulard's Farmers Market. This is one of the best activities STL has to offer! Vendors come and sell their fresh fruits, veggies, spices, lotions, soaps, whatever you can imagine. We go for the fresh produce- it is SO inexpensive. I will probably leave the market today with $20 worth of produce, which would have cost double that at Schnucks.
Then, tonight we are meeting Keith's family at a restaurant on The Hill (a district in STL known for it's Italian restaurants). We have easy access to shopping, museums, sporting events, parks, lil coffee shops, concerts, you name it.....

I know that STL is not a big city. We are definitely no Chicago, LA or New York, but it is a perfect size for me. Sometimes I wish it wasn't so spread out (and if you live here, you know what I mean). I would love to ditch my car and walk everywhere! But, that doesn't stop me from loving our "city life".
The one thing that I think about is the school system. When we have children, I don't want them to go to STL public schools. If I am still working for the city, we will have to live in the city and it might be our only option (unless we can afford private). But, I had a great primary and secondary education, in a small high school and I would like that for our future children. Ok, ok, ok... I don't even need to worry about that yet. We don't have children, we definitely don't have school age children.

So, for now, I will just be content where we are- right in the midst of it all- good food, good shopping, good music, good people watching.... good ole city living!

Sleepyhead

I cannot seem to get up and at 'em in the mornings anymore. I don't know what has changed. I used to pop out of bed when my alarm went off. Now, I push snooze. This usually causes me to run around frantically in the morning, which in turn causes me to become irritated and frustrated. My husband always says "looks like someone has a sleepy head on her shoulders". It's his nice way of saying "you still look tired and I know what that means, I am going to stay out of your way!"
I don't wanna push snooze anymore. Maybe I will move the alarm clock.

After all, the early bird gets the worm, right?!?!

S-T-D Overload!

As I have mentioned before, I work in HIV/STD/Hepatitis Services for the St. Louis City Health Department. I have CDC (Center for Disease Control) Training on Gonorrhea and Chlamydia all week. 8:30-4:30, Monday-Friday. I don't directly deal with gonorrhea and chlamydia at work, I usually focus on HIV, but our department believes in cross training, hence my attendance at the training.

We have a great instructor. She is from Denver and keeps the class interesting and upbeat. She has been in the DIS (Disease Intervention Specialist) field for a long time and boy, does she have some stories. If it weren't for her humorous, outgoing attitude, this week would be almost unbearable. It has been a long time since I have had to sit in a classroom for 8 hours a day. How I got through high school without a cup of coffee at my desk amazes me!!!!

Well, we have discussed just about everything you can possibly imagine over the last 3 days. I gotta tell you, working in this field sure does rid you of any discomforts you had with talking about sex. I have almost no boundries now. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? It is amazing the things that I can talk about in public, during a presentation, or the questions I can ask another individual during a risk assessment. And, I think I do a pretty good job of staying nonjudgemental, no matter what my personal beliefs are. Oh, and let me tell you.... you would not believe how many ways there are to say "sex" or how many ways you can refer to male and female anatomy. We go over all of this in trainings. I bet you have never been in a class like the ones I have taken since I started this job.

Sometimes I forget just how important our positions can be. We are there to prevent the spread of diseases. Not only the curable ones such as gonorrhea, chlamydia and syphilis, but the ones that have no cure, specifically HIV. Sometimes we are the only ones that a client can actually talk to and be honest with. We may be the only people who know how they put themselves at risk. We may be the only person who has taken the time to sit down and educate the client on modes of transmission and ways to prevent the infection. We may be the only person who listens.......

While I complain about how I don't wanna go to training for 2 more days, it has actually been extremely helpful. It has given me a renewed sense of pride in my job. It has motivated me in helping and educating others. That is always a great feeling!!!!

Happy Birthday Linda!

Today is my mother in law's birthday. I just wanted to post a big Happy Birthday to her.
Linda, if you are reading this, I can't wait for your birthday dinner on Saturday! Hope you have a great day today!!!!!

Happy Birthday Linda!!!!

Miami or Bust!

GO BEARS! WE ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! WE ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL! I can't say this enough- WE ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL!

I come from a long line of die-hard Bears fans, so this is a very exciting time for us! I don't love all football, just the Chicago Bears, but I am already thinking about taking the day after the Super Bowl off. And, being in St. Louis, surrounded by Rams fans, it is difficult to find someone to share in my joy. I hope they re-release the Super Bowl Shuffle.

Biohazard Update

For those of you who are wondering.. the biohazard is no longer in my office. My fantastic boss heard my story and he took it down to the room on the first floor. If it weren't for him, it would be still sitting there, staring me in the face.

Turning One is a Piece of Cake!

Happy 1st Birthday Tucker!
My nephew turned one today! His birthday party is Sunday afternoon, but my sister couldn't resist letting him have a cupcake on his actual birthday! (Chicago Bears cupcake, of course!) I cannot believe that he is one year old already. Keith and I are driving up to Bloomington today to spend the night with them and go to the party tomorrow. I am so excited to see the birthday boy and my lil niece! I'm sure I will be posting more pictures after the big party!!! Again, Happy Birthday Tuckie-man! We love you!!!!

Attention all music lovers!

If you are looking for a new artist, check out
Rocco Deluca & The Burden.
Their CD is 'i trust you to kill me'.
I bought Keith this CD for Christmas and we both LOOOVE it!!!!

Purple Twinkies?

I have a friend, Amanda, who is about 6 months pregnant right now. I had the chance to spend some quality girly time with her the other day. She was telling me about a book she got for Christmas- the Jenny McCarthy pregnancy book. Apparently it is "what your girlfriends never told you happens during pregnancy" kind of book. Issues like pooping on the delivery table and "purple twinkies" are discussed. I have heard of the pooping thing before, but never the "purple twinkies".

Oh, this may be an appropriate stopping point if you are a lil more on the conservative side. Personally, I like to "let it all hang out" (but not in the purple twinkie sense!)

Anyway, purple twinkies refer to a woman's labia when she is pregnant. Sometimes they become engorged with blood and swell and look like purple twinkies (according to this book).
I was flabbergasted by this! First of all, I think the name "purple twinkies" is absolutely hysterical! This does not sound like a comfortable situation, but from what I hear, what is comfortable about being pregnant?

I would love to have children someday. I hope to be able to experience pregnancy, with all of its ups and downs. But, I do hope that I never have the chance to say that I have had "purple twinkies".

Pointless Question....

*some characters names have been changed in order to spare their identity*

As some of you may know, I work at a Health Department as a Public Health Counselor in the Communicable Disease Department.
I was working diligently at my desk today when a co-worker, *Mary*, came into my office. Our conversation went like this,
"Hi Corie"
"Hi Mary"
"Do you know where we keep our Biohazard now?" (some recent changes have taken place at the Health Dept)
"Yes, we take it to the room on the first floor that is by the side entrance to the building off Samuel Shepard Drive"
Mary looks at me questioningly. So I give a more detailed description of where the new Biohazard room is.
Mary then says,
"Well, I am just going to leave it here" (and places it in my office!) "since I have a class I need to get to"
Mary exits.

I sit at my desk and look at this container of Biohazard (probably supplies used from HIV testing) and cannot believe that she left it in my office! You cannot leave the building without going to the first floor (duh!) so I know that she will pass by this room at least once during the day (on her way home).
Don't ask me a question if you are going to completely ignore my answer.

The Biohazard is still sitting in my room. If I have a really stubborn week, I will leave it there all week. Even though I pass by the Biohazard room every day on my way out.

Bookworm

I love books. I love to read. I have had a love for books for as long as I can remember.

Children's books are some of my favorites. I think it is because I have such fond memories of reading certain books as a child. E.B. White, Beverly Cleary, Ronald Dahl, Madeline L'Engle, Judy Blume, Shel Silverstein...

A bookstore near our home is going out of business and had books 40% off! I, being a book lover, could not pass this up. I found the cutest lil children's book called The Peace Book by Todd Par.

I bought the book for a friend and ended up going back to the store and buying the last book in stock for our future child (no, we are pregnant right now, but someday...). The book says things like "peace is having enough pizza in the world for everyone", "peace is keeping the water blue for all the fish", "peace is giving shoes to someone who needs them", "peace is giving someone a hug". It really is the cutest book and the illustrations are great for lil kids. I like to give books as gifts and this is definitely going to be added to my list of great books to give! Check out his website at www.toddparr.com.

eyes-lips-face

My friend Alicia told me about this website for elf cosmetics. I guess Niemann Marcus or some other department store bought them out and their stuff is so cheap!

I wasn't so sure about the quality at first, but for the prices, it was worth a shot. Most things are $1.00!!!

I was pretty pleased with almost everything I bought. It took about 5 weeks to get my order, but I wasn't in any rush.

I got new brushes and a carrying case for $9.00. One brush would have normally cost more than $9.00. I also really like their mascara and lip gloss. I ordered a few more things too, but these three items are my favorites!

If you are interested in checking out their site....
http://www.eyeslipsface.com/elfshop/default.asp

for some good readin'....

My friend Nicole lived in China for about a year. She kept a blog of her adventures and experiences during that year. I had forgotten about her blog until she posted a comment on mine. If you have some spare time and want to read some great stories, check out her blog at
http://morningmilk.blogspot.com/

Yoga shouldn't bring frustration, should it?!

I have a situation that I could not be more frustrated with.
My thoughtful husband bought me a gift certificate for 8 weeks of yoga classes for Christmas. This was an awesome gift idea! I LOVE yoga and have been wanting to take a more formal class for quite some time now. I was so impressed with Keith's gift idea and I could not wait to start my 2 months of yoga.

Well, I went to my first class last Tuesday. The class lasts an hour and a half. I won't go into much detail, but lets just say it was less than enjoyable. I have taken other yoga classes before, from 4 other instructors and this was my least favorite class. I didn't really have one good thing to say about the class and left the studio feeling crabby and irritated. I should never leave yoga feeling crabby and irritated. As a matter of fact, in the past (before this experience) I have always left my yoga class in a great mood, feeling relaxed and ready to take on the world.

So, the dilemma- what to do about this gift certificate. I had been in contact with the instructor prior to the first class via email, so I decided to email him. If you know me at all, you will know that I am not a confrontational person. And, I do not like to hurt people's feelings. I didn't know what to tell him. How do you tell someone that you totally disliked their class? I considered lying, telling him that my work schedule had changed to four 10 hour days and I wouldn't be able to make it to the class. In the end, I decided to "sugar coat" the truth for him. I emailed him and thanked him for the opportunity to participate in his class, but after the first class, I didn't feel like it was a good "fit" for me. (on his website it states that you have to withdraw before the second class for refund, minus the registration fee). I told him he could mail the refund check to me or I could pick it up. His response was "there are no refunds for gift certificates". I read and reread his response. I was SO ANGRY! I did not like his class at all, but tried to be kind about it and this is what I get?!?! So, I emailed him again and told him that I did not feel that I should lose out on the money it cost to purchase the gift certificate just because I did not enjoy the class. I asked if it were possible to purchase yoga mats or eye pillows or other equipment he may sell. His infuriating response was basically "we are a small studio with limited resources. Please hear me out on this, the gift certificate can only be used for classes".

You can imagine my complete and total appall at this! I cannot believe that he is choosing to be so unreasonable. I truly feel like I handled this in the most professional way that I could. When I did not get my way at first, I attempted to find another solution to the problem and he is just not budging! Oooooh- it really bothers me.
I wanted to email him back and tell him that he is being completely unreasonable and I will be sure to tell my family, friends and co-workers how unaccommodating he was. I wanted to email him that I will NEVER recommend his business to anyone looking for a yoga studio. But, I didn't. I actually haven't responded to his last email because I did not want to do so in anger. I am still so angry, so I still can't respond. Namaste-yeah right.

What do I do about this? Keith paid alot of money for the classes and I can't bear to let that money just go to this man for no service whatsoever. But, I do not want to take his stinking yoga classes and Keith doesn't either. I thought about asking him if I can give the certificate to someone else, but I don't want to send anyone to this studio. Should I just drop it and move on?
Suggestions, please?!?!?!? What would you do?

My favorite part about this whole situation was my friend Nicole's response to it all.... after I explained the story to her, she said "well, that isn't very yoga-like of him, is it?". I am glad Nicole was able to bring a bit of humor to an otherwise not humorous situation.

Ok, enough of my venting for the day.....

Is it time for kids?

I wanted to share this article Keith emailed me.... if you have been reading my past posts, you will know that I am a planner and that I struggle with making big decisions. Of course, now that we have been married over a year and are getting closer to the big 3-0, the question of "when to start a family?" has been entering our minds. This article was perfect for me to read. I am always overanalyzing whether or not we are ready to have children. "Do we have enough money? Do I have enough time accumulated for maternity leave? Should we wait until we have a house? Do we want to travel more first? Am I ready to give up "us" time?" Well, after reading this article and talking to all of our friends who have kids... the answer seems to be- you will never truly feel like you are 100% prepared for children. So, I suppose we will leave it in God's hands and when it is time, it will happen.
Until then, I hope you enjoy this article as much as I did....

Life & Style > Columnists
Are you ever really ready to have kids?
By Dana Loesch
SPECIAL TO THE POST-DISPATCH
01/08/2007
Dana Loesch
The other day a reader named Rebecca wrote to ask how much children cost. Literally, she wanted figures. She explained that she and her husband are looking into having children and, being the pragmatic and responsible people that they are, they want to get a couple quotes. You get quotes prior to purchasing a house, why not with having kids?Firstly, it’s impossible to give someone such a quote because so many variables are involved – but don’t think that I haven’t kept a running tally that I can flash in the boys’ faces should they ever try to stick me in a home. I’d love to say that Chris’s and my decision to have children was based upon a lengthy examination of our finances and that we were responsible and concluded that we’d have children when the time was right. It wasn’t.
Our decision to have children was decided by our inaction to prevent their conception. In all honesty, it was the best decision I’ve ever made and it didn’t involve any deliberation. Sometimes the best things in life come about that way. I walked down the aisle with a four-month bump veiled under the wedding dress I’d ordered a month before I became pregnant. I still wore white.

So, perhaps I’m not the best person to ask. However, I don’t think the question is really how much children cost but rather how much you are willing to spend. When it comes down to it, the factor that determines a great child isn’t how ready the parents were before he was conceived. It’s not how much the baby’s parents’ are able to sock away in her college savings. Its not determined by how big your house is, where you’re at in your career, whether you’re a lawyer or a street sweeper. What matters is how much time and emotion you are willing to invest in your child. Some of the richest people who seem to have their affairs in an enviable state of order are poor in emotional investments. Some of the poorest people I know have broken off pieces of their own souls to invest in their children. They don’t just take their kids to the park. They kick off their shoes and play in the sand with them. They bend down and talk to them on their level while looking into their eyes. They push hobbies off to the wayside to play with their kids.I have a mother like that. I don’t remember our tiny house in the bad part of town, or how often we did without, but I do remember how much of herself she invested in me.Honestly, I feel that you’re ready for children when you want them and can provide them adequate support. There is no one price umbrella; i.e. some children have health issues which raises their particular cost of care; others have no maladies whatsoever.

I’ve heard the saying oft repeated: “You’re never really ready to have children,” or “You can’t plan enough before having children.” Both are frightfully true. Life is what happens when you’re busy making plans.

Dana Loesch is a mother of two, a professional blogger, and can be reached at mamalogues@yahoo.com. Read more at http://www.mamalogues.com.

**One more note.. how awesome would it be to be a professional blogger?!?! I could be a Public Health Counselor by day, pro blogger by night. Hmmmm........ something to think about.

time for a poll.....

I got this pole from Val's blog. I like doing these if I have a lil bit of free time......

1. Explain what ended your last relationship? I've been with Keith over 9 years, don't even remember the last relationship before him!
2. When was the last time you shaved? about 6:30 this morning
3. What were you doing this morning at 8 a.m.? just got to work
4. What were you doing 15 minutes ago? heating up cauliflower lasagna
5. Are you any good at math? NO! I can't stand math- don't remember anything from algebra!
6. Your prom night? Senior prom- Eric Michael was my date. We had an awesome senior prom
7. Do you have any famous ancestors? Nope....
8. Have you had to take a loan out for school? Um, yeah! I'll be paying on it for the next 25 years....
9. Do you know all the words to a song? probably more songs than I could list. I memorize songs easily
10. Last thing received in the mail? Netflix movie- Little Miss Sunshine
11. How many different beverages have you had today? Coffee, water, peppermint tea
12. Do you ever leave messages on peoples answering machine? yes, and like Val, I cannot seem to make them short
13. Who did you lose your CONCERT virginity to? Tori Amos
14. Do you draw your name in the sand when you go to the beach? Sometimes
15. What was the most painful dental procedure you have had? Knock on wood, haven't had a painful experience at the dentist
16. What is out your back door? alley
17. Any plans for Friday night? probably dinner and watching Little Miss Sunshine with Keith
18. Do you like what the ocean does to your hair? no- makes it "ratty" and dry
19. Have you ever received one of those big tins of 3 different popcorns? nope....
20. Have you ever been to a planetarium? yes!
21. Do you re-use towels after you shower? yes!
22. Some things you are excited about? I am excited that we have Monday off for MLK Day, I am excited to try the new soy ice cream I bought, I am excited to watch the new episode of Grey's Anatomy, I am excited for my nephew's first birthday party next Sunday
23. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO? probably strawberry banana
24. Describe your keychain. Car key, house key, office key
25. Where do you keep your change? in my wallet and in a jar at home
26. Do you sleep with the door to your room open or closed? door open- no one but Keith and I

Our "slogan"

Ok, I have to share something my husband sent me in an email. I read this email at work yesterday and it made me laugh aloud for a good 30 seconds. My co workers probably think I am crazy~ just sitting there laughing at my computer.

So, we are emailing back and forth about how we are really gonna eat healthy. We don't have a bad diet by any means, but we do get lazy from time to time and grab quick food or order pizza. We are promising each other that we will keep the other person motivated. Keith emails me that we will do it because we have a goal- "Sexy for Carolina". He tells me that this will be our motto. (by the way, we are trying to plan a trip to the beach in South Carolina with my sister, her family and my friend Tracy and her family).

I just thought his motto "Sexy for Carolina" was sooo funny, especially coming from a man. You may not find it funny... as I reread my post, it doesn't seem as funny as when it was coming from his email.
But, I love my husband.... he makes me laugh every day, but this laugh was particularly memorable. :)

Funk-da-fied

Lately I have been in a "funk". I can't seem to get myself out of it. I don't know exactly what is wrong or even if there is anything wrong. I am just kinda "blah". Who knows, maybe it is SAD (seasonal affect disorder).
What I do know is that I am ready for it to end.

I don't even know if I can explain it. I am very blah about my job right now. I feel pressure (from no one but myself) to make a decision about whether or not to go back to school. The teacher idea is very appealing to me. But, honestly, I can't imagine going back to school. Of course, how else would I become a teacher? School would be a must-do. And, I think the longer I wait, the less likely I will be to go. So, the job thing may be a bit responsible for my funk.

Everything else in my life is going really well. I really don't have anything to complain about but this "funk". Does anyone else relate to this? I don't think Keith does. He is the most easygoing, laid back person I have ever met. He just doesn't let himself stay in a bad or "funky" mood. I, on the other hand, have a very hard time "talking" myself out of my "funks".

I really think it might be the winter (if you can call this winter) weather. Let's blame it on the weather. I am going to have to look up symptoms for SAD. And, after I google SAD, I should look into Master's programs for next semester......

Ah, let's end this post with a well needed quote....
"Dreams are necessary to life" ~Anais Nin
(why does it seem like I am scared to make my dreams become reality?.... never mind, I know why- it is that stinkin' fear)

If you really knew me.....

I have had a pretty easy couple of "work weeks" since the holidays. I haven't had a five day week in.... well, I can't remember how long. Plus, I have been getting off work early on the days I do work. Seriously, I cannot complain that I am overworked.

Anyway, to my point.... I have been able to catch a couple of episodes of Oprah lately. One episode focused on "Challenge Day" at a high school. They gathered about 60 students and tried to break down barriers between the kids. One of the exercises was "If you really knew me, you would know...." and then fill in the blank. It went to show that appearances are not always what they seem.

I thought I would post my own "if you really knew me...."

• If you really knew me, you would know that I truly believe I am married to the greatest man on earth. Keith is completely amazing. He always builds me up, never puts me down. He takes interest in everything I think is important. He lets me control the remote. He tells me that he loves me, that I am the most beautiful woman he has ever seen and how much he appreciates me every single day. I thank God for him!
• If you really knew me, you would know that I am a perfectionist. This makes life very difficult sometimes. I put super-high expectations on myself and get mad if certain things I do are only mediocre.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I still miss my Grandpa every day. He passed away 5 months ago today. I keep waiting for time to heal the wounds, but I guess there hasn't been enough time yet.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I want my pajamas to match. Down to the socks.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I sometimes want a dog. I would like to have a Boston Terrier (like the dog I had growing up) that I could take for walks in the park. But, then again, I do not want dog hair and "accidents" in our apartment.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I am growing to be more and more like my mom every day. This, in my mind, is not a bad thing. I have a fantastic mom! Every time we go to my mom's Keith notices something else that the two of us have in common.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I am self-conscious. I have been this way for as long as I can remember. This is a hard one to admit..... I have always felt like the "average" one in my group of friends. I have extraordinary friends- beautiful, intelligent, funny, adventurous..... Each of them stand out in their own unique way. But, I just felt/feel like I was just "there". I don't know if that makes sense or not. (I am not posting this to make anyone feel sorry for me, so DON"T!)
• If you really knew me, you would know that more than once I have laughed so hard that I've peed my pants. Not full fledge peeing my pants, but enough.....
• If you really knew me, you would know that I wonder if we should have moved to a different part of the country. I question this all the time. I had always pictured myself leaving the midwest. No place in particular, but probably west rather than east. I still wonder if we should give it a whirl.
• If you really knew me, you would know that one of the reasons I haven't moved is fear. I am so scared of decisions, especially the big ones. Fear is a big thing for me. Not just the fear of moving, but the fear of deciding on a career, fear of deciding on when/if to start a family, fear of failure of any kind.... I hate fear.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I snore sometimes.
• If you really knew me, you would know that fall is my favorite time of year. I love the colors and the weather and everything about it. I can sit in my living room, with the blinds open and the windows cracked and just thank God for fall!
• If you really knew me, you would know that I wish I had a closer relationship with my Dad, but I don't try to change it. Why don't I try?
• If you really knew me, you would know that I am SO SO SO thankful that my sister and I actually talk now! We are developing the close "sisterly" relationship I had always hoped we would have. I adore her and am so thankful for her!!!!
• If you really knew me, you would know that I wish I had lived when my grandparents or parents grew up. Times seemed so much simpler then. I feel like people valued family, manners, hard work and less material things back then. I wish I could have experienced the times I hear them talk about. Even if it meant living without all of the "luxuries" we have today.
• If you really knew me, you would know that the best friends I have are from my childhood. I had this preconceived notion that I would make my best friends in college, but turns out I made them years before that. I love that we are able to share just about every milestone we have ever had.
• If you really knew me, you would know that I have so many places I would like to visit- Oregon, Northern California, Boston, London, Paris, Italy, Greece, Spain..... I'm gonna need to accumulate ALOT of vacation time!

So, these are just a few...well, quite a few of my "if you really knew me's". You should try it. It does make you realize some things about yourself that you probably hide from most people. I am hoping that because I have put them down in writing that I am able to change some of the things about myself.

Oh yeah, one more thing... If you really knew me, you would know that I love a good quote.

"If you hear a voice within you say 'you cannot paint', then by all means, paint and that voice will be silenced". ~Vincent Van Gogh

They say it's your Birthday......

My wonderful, thoughtful, hilarious, amazing friend Tracy had a *surprise* 30th birthday party this past Saturday at Carlos O'Kelly's. A few pictures of the festivities are posted. Her actual birthday is today, so this post is for you Trace! I can't wait to see you on Thursday for days of girly time!!!! XOXOX

HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY TRACE!

Emma had to help her Momma blow out the candles...

Emma, aka "Icing Smuggler"

Emma, enjoying her stolen goods

We love you Birthday Girl!

I resolve to.....

Over the last few years I have not made any New Year Resolutions for myself. When I was younger I always made a couple of resolutions. I never ended up keeping them and they were boring. The typical "gonna exercise more", "eat healthier" resolutions.... I am sure most of you can relate.

Well, this year I have decided to make a few resolutions for myself. Maybe if I share them I will be more apt in keeping them. So, I am giving permission for you to ask me how my resolutions are going throughout the year (please!).....

For the year 2007 I plan to: (in no particular order of importance).......

• Take a "creative" class at our local community college. I received a course catalog in the mail the other day. There are SO many classes I would like to take. Why have I not been doing this all along? At this point I think the difficult choice will be which class to take. I could take a photography class, a pottery class, a knitting class, a calligraphy class, a cooking class, a spanish class....there are so many possibilities. Registration begins today, so I need to make a decision.
• No new shows in 2007. By this I mean, I will only watch the TV shows that I have been watching in the past. I will not start to watch any new shows this year. I quit watching Survivor and Amazing Race this season, so I will not pick those back up. That leaves me with "How I Met Your Mother", "What About Brian", "Lost", "Grey's Anatomy", "Desperate Housewives", "What Not to Wear".... am I forgetting any? Oh, and I will still allow myself reruns before bed. If I can hold myself to this, that means approximately 9 hours of tv a week. Not bad..... My extra time should be spent in my creative class and reading.
• Striving to be the best wife I can be. I truly want to be the best wife for Keith. He is the most amazing man and deserves the absolute best. Sometimes I think I am too "naggy" and hard on him. I put the expectations I have for myself onto him and that is not fair. We are two totally different people. He always puts me first and I want to do that in return. I want to put Keith's needs first. I want to always be supportive. I want to always appreciate him, never take him for granted. Believe it or not, sometimes I am a very hard person to live with. He deserves some kind of an award.
  
• Time with God. When I lived alone, making time for God was never a problem for me. Since we have been married, I don't make as much time for God as I used to. And, I can tell a difference in my life. I need to have that "quiet time" every day. Time to pray, read my Bible and journal. I worry more, have bad moods more, stress more, without my consistent quiet time. I talk to God every day, but it is when I devote that extra time to Him that I notice such a positive difference in my life.

So, those are a few of my resolutions for this year. Does anyone else still make resolutions or are these a thing of the past?

2007 is a very good year.... so far

Hip Hip Hooray!
If you read the two previous posts from today, this one will make sense.

As you can see, the captions are now centered. Just a lil patience and persistance was all it took.
Maybe that should be my theme for the year..."patience and persistance".

Now, we are off to have our first breakfast of the year at Uncle Bill's House of Pancakes (a STL landmark). Best pecan pancakes ever!

I hope this isn't a sign......

Darn it. I just spent about an hour downloading, posting those pictures (previous post), and writing the lil captions. The captions didn't stay centered under the pictures.

This is not pleasing to a self-proclaimed perfectionist.

I can only hope this is not some type of foreshadowing to the New Year....

Tribute to 2006

I thought I would begin 2007 with just a few of my memories from the past year.

The following pictures are just a few shots of family and friends that were taken over the year. We were blessed with many milestones in 2006- babies, anniversaries, lots of time with family and friends, vacations, and other special occasions.

Happy New Year. May 2007 be your best year yet........

Tucker, Dot, Mom and Riley at the park,
Summer 2006

Uncle Keith and Tucker

Keith with his family

Mom and Jim

Aren't they a cute couple?

Hanging out with the girls..

and Daniel

My sister, Riley and Tucker

at the STL Zoo

the beach wears them

out every time......

Fourth of July

Guy talk, Memorial Day

Us on the Golden Gate Bridge

My nephew Tucker

Born 1-19-06

Riley and "Mamo"

September 24, 2006

Our first anniversary

I thought our anniversary was

important enough to post 2 pics!

Riley, Mark and Tucker





The new Busch Stadium opened
in 2006





We moved to STL in March
Keith is making our first breakfast
in our new apartment.



My amazing friend Beth had her first child,
Daniel, in May.

Another dear friend

Tracy, and her adorable

daughter, Emma, on Emma's

1st Birthday!

Riley and Tucker

Summer Fun 2006

Dot and Mark,

after a Card's game

Christmas 2006

Grandma, Mom and Aunt Cathy

Keith, Nicole and Eric

aka Bad News Bears

after their first Adventure Race

My 10 year high school

reunion was in June.

Another shot of my

lil nephew Tucker

Family support

Thanksgiving 2006